Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
