you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
