you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
