It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
