As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
