if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
it's like iHOP with fire
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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