sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
