Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
