Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
