guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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