Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She's the barista slut.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
