Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
