Sober January is a disaster.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
