So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
