Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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