Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
