How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
