recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
