Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
