my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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