I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
