I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
