if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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