But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
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