I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
