the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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