I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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