Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
