Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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