so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
