you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
