She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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