we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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