I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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