Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
