how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
