yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
