return my video game
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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