pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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