There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
