Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
How's work?
Spinning.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
