At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
