his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
