If that was your dad, he is hot
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
