normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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