we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
