Life is so much better after having sex.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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