batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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