I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
