I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
