I accidentally burped into my bong.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Actions speak louder than pants.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
then he tried to convert me to islam
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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