I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
